[Diamente]

Thought this would be a good thread for those of us bored at work and wanna talk about things our coworkers do to annoy us. Or if you have a character type at work tell about it. This following guy makes me furious but at the same time I feel really bad about getting upset.

Title: Coffee Nazi

Ok this guy is 59 years old and has NEVER been diagnosed with OCD. He drinks 14 cups of coffee a day which he will proudly boast to you. He used to be in charge of all that is coffee, making it, keeping track of the expenses, etc. About a year ago, 4 people who were in "The Coffee Club" decided generic Costco wasn't good enough for them and wanted Starbucks so they got a new pot and broke off from the group. The Coffee Nazi took the whole next 2 days at work to reassemble and readjust his various Excel coffee charging files to accommodate. He also did not speak to anyone from the group for 2 months either. Now I'm not a coffee drinker but I drink a lot of green tea. The Coffee Nazi monitors his precious pot a few different ways. He checks it 26 times a day (has a tally count on the wall in his cube). He listens for the sound of the glass of the pot to hit the hot plate so he can get up and check who is taking how much coffee. (I learned that the hard way the day I tried to sneak half a cup). One day I was dead tired and out of tea so I waited for him to go to the bathroom and stole a cup and put it behind my desk out of sight. He came back and found the god damn thing saying "Is that coffee?" He knew it was missing because apparently he memorizes the level in the pot before he goes to pee. He walks around filling everyone's cup up to top them off so that he can make a new pot as many times a day as he can. He even walks into our freaking Ethics office which are confidential meetings to discuss ethics breachings!!! CRAZY.

Now we just tease him. Like my boss will come get coffee when I'm getting water and shake the pot on the hot plate so he'll come running and think its me. I ex-laxed the coffee a few times on everyone and we have a grand ole' time ratting each other out on who's takin coffee cause he gets paranoid. Oh and if you try to make a pot of coffee, he will dump it out and make it himself with the exception of our boss, and then he paces back and forth watching him and giving him fill tips and such.

[Sonos]

i actually enjoyed that story.

When I worked at a cubefarm a few years ago we had an overweight woman who worked in the same department. She was about 5'5" pushing 300. She always wore a dress/mumu thing and under her desk she had an oscillating fan blowing underneath her skirt at all times. The fan was dubbed the "crotch fan". it was pretty gross. she was pretty gross.

[ummhi]

LOL that's freakin sweet. You should prolly get on his good side so he's not so nazish to you :/.

[Silverstein]

Diamente :
He drinks 14 cups of coffee a day which he will proudly boast to you.

He drinkes those over the span of the entire day, right? Because y'know... too much coffee in close increments can actually kill you.


My story isn't all that long or great, but this one chick at the pet shop I used to work at seriously seemed like she went out of her way to buy any animal you were interested in and couldn't buy at the time of showing interest. e____e; Like this one snake I wanted SO bad... she bought it in front of my face with this smug expression and said with a hint of mockery, "I'm going to name it Setinka."

I hate her...

[Diamente]

One day I brought Jolt gum to see if he'd do that instead (supposidly its worth 2 cups per piece) and my coworkers took it away though cause it'd prolly give him a heart attack cause he would drink AND chew.

[Kay]

While my story isn't as interesting, it's just as weird. There was this girl I used to work with who everytime you went in the bathroom she would always suddenly have to go also and follow you in there. Once there she always tried to talk to you constantly from the next stall over and/or stick her head under the door of yours. She thought everyone liked her I guess, cause she constantly tried to setup things to do with you. I tried to never use the bathroom again after like the first week.

[[Tonka]]

LoL @ Diamente & Kay.

[ragingtoxin]

Silverstein :

Diamente :
He drinks 14 cups of coffee a day which he will proudly boast to you.

He drinkes those over the span of the entire day, right? Because y'know... too much coffee in close increments can actually kill you.

No. It takes the caffiene in about ~140 cups to kill a person within a short amount of time. However, if you spiked your company's coffee with caffiene pills, you could kill a person pretty easy.

[Silverstein]

Huh... I could have sworn I read or saw somewhere that it said 10 cups really close together would kill you...

Oh well.

[ragingtoxin]

If you drink crack coffee o.o

In cases of extreme overdose, death can result. The median lethal dose (LD50) of caffeine is 192 milligrams per kilogram in rats.[33] The LD50 of caffeine is dependent on weight and individual sensitivity and estimated to be about 150 to 200 milligrams per kilogram of body mass, roughly 140 to 180 cups of coffee for an average adult taken within a limited timeframe that is dependent on half-life. Though achieving lethal dose with coffee would be exceptionally difficult with regular coffee, there have been reported deaths from intentional overdosing on caffeine pills.[34][35][36][37]

[ummhi]

Over a long period, coffee can do some serious damage to you. Kind of like McDonalds, but it only takes like 3 days of McDonalds and you, your family, and about 7 other kids, 3 pandas, Alanis Morsette, and Mr. Clean die.

[Sonos]

ragingtoxin :
If you drink crack coffee o.o

In cases of extreme overdose, death can result. The median lethal dose (LD50) of caffeine is 192 milligrams per kilogram in rats.[33] The LD50 of caffeine is dependent on weight and individual sensitivity and estimated to be about 150 to 200 milligrams per kilogram of body mass, roughly 140 to 180 cups of coffee for an average adult taken within a limited timeframe that is dependent on half-life. Though achieving lethal dose with coffee would be exceptionally difficult with regular coffee, there have been reported deaths from intentional overdosing on caffeine pills.[34][35][36][37]

thats a lot of coffee

[Greenmage]

My story is also not nearly as entertaining but…

There was this guy I worked with who knows every thing, and I mean EVERY f00ken thing about WWII stuff. Now your probably thinking to yourself ‘well his most likely just some war veteran or something’. The thing is though this guy is only 17 years old! Now I actually like history and stuff somewhat myself, so the whole being a WWII buff is not the issues really. The trouble was he would talk about the stuff nearly 24/7 and chat about it with you nonstop weather you wanted it or not. Honestly there be days were just out of the blue me or someone else would get ambushed by him. Then once you get stuck Listening to MR history channel he would follow you like a magnet everywhere. I guess its good to know though that those guys did not die in vain…even if people such as this will worship them ;/

Honestly though if it were me I rather be forgotten lol

[Abattoir Siren]

i have coffee snipers.

they take the last bit of coffee and don't put a new pot to brew...

[ragingtoxin]

I would have done a professional rip, had I access to FFXI's text logs.

[Abattoir Siren]

LOL win!

[Kay]

[Tonka] :
LoL @ Diamente & Kay.

It's embarassing. >_>

[Dimmauk]

Diamente :
Thought this would be a good thread for those of us bored at work and wanna talk about things our coworkers do to annoy us. Or if you have a character type at work tell about it. This following guy makes me furious but at the same time I feel really bad about getting upset.

Title: Coffee Nazi

Ok this guy is 59 years old and has NEVER been diagnosed with OCD. He drinks 14 cups of coffee a day which he will proudly boast to you. He used to be in charge of all that is coffee, making it, keeping track of the expenses, etc. About a year ago, 4 people who were in "The Coffee Club" decided generic Costco wasn't good enough for them and wanted Starbucks so they got a new pot and broke off from the group. The Coffee Nazi took the whole next 2 days at work to reassemble and readjust his various Excel coffee charging files to accommodate. He also did not speak to anyone from the group for 2 months either. Now I'm not a coffee drinker but I drink a lot of green tea. The Coffee Nazi monitors his precious pot a few different ways. He checks it 26 times a day (has a tally count on the wall in his cube). He listens for the sound of the glass of the pot to hit the hot plate so he can get up and check who is taking how much coffee. (I learned that the hard way the day I tried to sneak half a cup). One day I was dead tired and out of tea so I waited for him to go to the bathroom and stole a cup and put it behind my desk out of sight. He came back and found the god damn thing saying "Is that coffee?" He knew it was missing because apparently he memorizes the level in the pot before he goes to pee. He walks around filling everyone's cup up to top them off so that he can make a new pot as many times a day as he can. He even walks into our freaking Ethics office which are confidential meetings to discuss ethics breachings!!! CRAZY.

Now we just tease him. Like my boss will come get coffee when I'm getting water and shake the pot on the hot plate so he'll come running and think its me. I ex-laxed the coffee a few times on everyone and we have a grand ole' time ratting each other out on who's takin coffee cause he gets paranoid. Oh and if you try to make a pot of coffee, he will dump it out and make it himself with the exception of our boss, and then he paces back and forth watching him and giving him fill tips and such.

Does he look like this?

[&#12524&#12514&#12531]

Silverstein :
He drinkes those over the span of the entire day, right? Because y'know... too much coffee in close increments can actually kill you.

Not true. I would be totally fucking dead by now.

[Nimbusyosh]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C54xDkCQ7L0

I thought this should get posted again.


2+2HHORSEMAN2+4LIPHE!