[Xani]

Don't take offense, morons, it's all harmless laughs.



A woman is in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, "Get this fucking thing out of me!"
She turns to the boyfriend and shouts "You did this to me you bastard!"
He replied casually; "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse - but you insisted on putting it in there."

What present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

One gay sperm says to the other;
"How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?"

I like black people...
...I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them.



Continue.

[Saeunn]

What do Black people and apples have in common?




The both look good hanging from trees.


Two Condoms walk past a gaybar, The 1st condom says to the 2nd condom, "lets go in there and get shitfaced"

[firefeng]

This topic was better before it fell off the first page and Xani decided it was time to apply her posting style of Incredibly Smegmalicious™ to it.

Seriously, go fuck yourself with a splintery 6 x 6.

[Cruzandercerberus]

Two sperm are swimming along, one turns to the other and says "This is a really long way to go, when do we get to the egg?"

The other sperm replies, "It may be awhile, we just passed the tonsils."


I'll just show myself out.

[monstrouswombat]

what does a mexican and a cue ball have in common?
the harder you hit it the more english you get.




did you hear lorana bobitt died in a car crash?
some dick cut her off.




what does a fat chick and a pile of bricks have in common?
no matter what theres a mexican that will lay them.

[Eternalkaiser]

why do women have small feet? so they can get closer to my sink while they wash my dishes!


whats the diffrenace between a jew and a potato?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, potatoes dont scream in the oven!



lol the good old jokes

[Jaybb]

How many jews can you fit in a car?

15, 2 in the front seats, 3 in the back seats, and 10 in the ash tray

[Arkley]

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

[Aleera]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

LOL'd.

[Rentahobo]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

My god ... its its its beautiful!

[Fencer of Alexander]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

You sir, have earned one of these:

[Ture]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

Pure fucking genius, if not for being on the other side of the atlantic I would buy you a beer.

[Serataru]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

holy dogshit that is fucking great

[Kay]

Your interest section has prodigious quantities of studying, Sera.

[monstrouswombat]

a desperate man was getting ready to make love to a grossly obese woman.
he climbs on top of the beast and asks "do you mind if i turn off the ceiling light?"
she asks "what are you getting shy all of a sudden?"
he says "no its burning my ass"

[Xani]

Lol'd!

A young woman goes to the vet with her alsation dog and explains what the problem is.
"Every time I bend over, he jumps on my back and, well, you know, does the business. Getting something out of the fridge, putting something in the bin, making the bed: every time I bend over, he's there humping away."
"I see" says the vet "I suppose you want him put down?"
"No, just clip his nails, please"

[Seigrith]

Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are each standing at the gates of Heaven before Saint Peter, who informs them that there's only room for one of them to enter. So, Saint Peter decides to stage a tie breaker.

"Whichever one of you can show me the most impressive stunt will be granted passage into Heaven," he said.

"This here'll be a piece of cake," boasted Dolly Parton as she discarded her top to reveal those famous blouse barrels of hers.

"Hmm," leered Saint Peter, "not bad. Let's see what you've got, Lady Di."

Without hesitation, Princess Diana unleashed a Massengil and began to douche vigorously.

"We've got a winner! Diana, enjoy your stay," welcomed Saint Peter.

"What?!" scowled Dolly in a conniption fit worthy of Faith Hill. "How the fuck did you come to that conclusion?"

"Because a royal flush always beats a pair."

[Velhart]

Arkley, on 03 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

A member of Killing Ifrit dies, and by some miracle, ends up in Heaven. Upon arrival, he notices a large wall covered in clocks, each bearing the name of a member of Killing Ifrit. So he asks a nearby angel; "What are those clocks for?"
The angel explains, "Oh, those aren't really clocks. See how they only have one, very large hand? It moves about half an inch clockwise every time its person says something stupid."
The recently deceased forum member studies the wall for a few moments, then asks the angel; "Where's the one for Rambus?"
The angel replies, "Oh, God has that one in his office, he's using it as a fan."

Haha way to make an old joke come back fresh.

Fencer of Alexander, on 03 September 2009 - 07:26 PM, said:

You sir, have earned one of these:

No fair, I want chocolate.

[Vigilous]

So a mentally challenged cripple wheels up to this guy, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a really good Rambus joke?"

The guy responds, "not Niece! em Ramubs!"

The mentally challenged cripple replies, "Oh, don't worry then. I'll tell it to you slow."

[MrReinhardt]

I dont get it