[Knyte]

A man and his buddy were hunting in the woods outside his house. The buddy sights through his scope and goes "holy shit dude, I can see your house from here. Your wifes cheating on you with another guy!"
The man goes, "God dammit, I've had it with her. Shoot her in the head and him in the privates"
His buddy takes aim, "Don't worry man, I'll get that in one shot"

A lady goes to the doctor complaining of pain in her stomach.
The doctor goes "Hmmm, ok. What is your daily routine?"
Lady goes, "Well, I get up from bed and make breakfast for my family. Then I see them off, and then do this and that around the house. Then around 8:15 I go to the bathroom"
Doctor goes, "Well lets take some x-rays."
So they take x-rays and the results come back.
Doctor tells her, "Well, you got 3 worms in you. Gonna have to have surgery."
1st worm goes, "Did you hear that?"
2nd worm goes, "Yeah, I did. What we gonna do?"
1st worm goes, "Well, I'm gonna go hide behind the heart."
2nd worm goes, "Good idea, I'm gonna go hide behind the liver."
3rd worm goes, "I'm gonna catch the 8:15 outta here"

I claim page 3 in the name of Bacon and bad jokes!!!!

[treelo]

First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

[Ferusio]

what had 8 legs and makes women scream, gang rape.
what did the deaf dumb and blind kid get for Christmas, Cancer

[Xani]

Husband wakes at 5 in the morning feeling really horny. He nudges his wife and says,"Honey, give me a blow job." His wife says, "Sweetheart, I'm tired, just have a wank in a glass and I'll drink it in the morning."