So my brother gets home and unfortunately, he never went to college. As a result, he's got a mindset that is permanently stuck on High School mode (which, realistically, is every person I have ever met that never went to college). What does that mean? ZOMG BEER ZOMG CHICKS ZOMG PUSSY. Let me put 22" on my wheels, a HEUG FUCKING BASS SPEAEKAR, and live in a shithole apartment. He wanted to go out with me one night and I obliged. He then told me I could borrow one of his shirts, a shirt that was a p*ssy MAGNET as he described it.
"No thanks."
"What dude, you don't wanna get laid tonight? I swear, this thing is INSTANT sex. It guarantees it."
"No, I'm good."
"Dude, I'm tellin you, I didn't believe so either, but the first night I was out, there were chicks ALL OVER ME! HUH HUH HUH."
"... No, I'm pretty sure I said I'm good."
"I haven't even shown you the shirt yet... Are you gay?"
"Fuck you."
And then he showed me the shirt. It had fuckin wings all over the back, arms and shoulders, skulls down the front, frilly ribbon shit that connected the two, other shit that ran all down the front. I stifled a laugh, "Are YOU gay?" I asked him. He then goes on to explain to me why these are such a pussy magnet - They are apparently $100 bucks a shirt. Why would I pay $20, let alone $100 for a t-shirt to look like super-douche.

So my brother isn't the most fit of individuals either, despite being in the military. He starts going on about how MMA people wear this and how it must get them laid.
Oh, of course. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are
1) Famous
2) On TV
3) Have lots of money
4) Are built like tanks
5) et al
Regardless of all these facts, he puts on the shirt which is admittedly tight on an average guy only to display his girth. Congratulations, we've now entered another level of faggotry.

To make a long story short, we went out, he didn't get laid and still looked flamboyantly fat. The end. (I suddenly caught the ADD and lost interest in writing this)
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