[kevin1gamer]

Alright, so I thought I fell in "love", however, it is really complicated and I feel as though I have been <s>somewhat of</s> a jerk now. Please, allow me to elaborate. I fell for one of my good friends, however, after a long and drawn out sequence of events, I discovered she didn't like me the same way. Eventually, she found out about the crush I had on her and I've sort of dragged things on a bit. She only wants to be friends now, and now, so do I. I kept telling myself (and her) that, but I never actually truly believed it. Now, I am going to try and completely "bury the hatchet", and try to put it behind us (that's what she wants, and now, that is entirely what I want). I will have no regrets of this, and from this point fourth, actions will speak louder than words (especially half-baked promises that I meant to be true but accidentally slipped up on). I do believe I will require a stronger willpower to go through with this though. The reason being, one of my good friends, Elijah, called me a stalker (because I still had feelings for her after finding out from a mutual friend that she didn't feel the same way about me), does having a crush on someone (and making a couple bad decisions, like coming on too strong, going out of my way to hint that I like her, and various other stupid things that I now regret doing entirely) truly make you a stalker? I am quitting this stupidity now, not only because it's the right thing to do, because it's what she wants, or to salvage our friendship, but rather all three of those things, plus I now see the error of my ways and wish to do so. I would hate for one or both of us to be uncomfortable around each other as friends, just over some stupid teenage crush. So I am putting an end to it, and respecting her wishes (as well as my own) by going back to just being friends. In fact, I believe I may have unconsciously showed my affection a few times (i.e. my Final Fantasy XI character is named after her and commenting on every single one of her Facebook statuses). I also want to show her (as well as myself), that I don't want that sort of vibe, just as she doesn't, or we will always hate (and/or feel uncomfortable around each other) for the rest of our lives, and neither of us want to lose our very close friendship over something so trivial and stupid. Right now I am actually sad, I'm almost never said (only been sad twice in like 3 years; when my cousin died about a week ago and now), I really screwed up bad, and now I just feel terrible, I am almost crying (not that I <s>ussually</s> ever cry) because of what I've done (see above), I feel so sorry for what I've done to Tabitha (made her feel awkward and/or bad/sad around me), I don't even know where to begin to make it up to her (however, I have decided that putting an end to this one-sided romance is the best course of action for my first step). Anyone have any advice, questions, commentary?

[monstrouswombat]

Does this washcloth smell like chloraform to u tabbie?

[firefeng]

Those feelings never go away. It's been five years since I've last seen my best-friend-turned-love-interest, who reciprocated my feelings for a short while and with whom I had my own fantastically awkward falling out, and yet some mornings I still wake up with a dream of her still floating in my cognizance.

No real advice to give, except maybe, "Good luck"? And also, remain keen on your promise to stop impressing yourself upon her. Those feelings don't go away, but with time and age they do dull and lethargize (a word I just made up because I'm too lazy to think of a real one) to the point of near-death. The fires of youth cooling with the flowering of maturity, and all that jazz. Best you can do for the both of you is find someone else to love.

[Sotose]

..You named your ffxi character after someone other than a certain ffvii villain?

Your life is f*cked up dude.

[cidbahamut]

firefeng, on 14 October 2009 - 07:33 PM, said:

Those feelings never go away.

Absolute truth.

I'd recommend putting some distance between yourself and her for a while.

[6souls]

this dude is shitting up the internet with his sob story, enjoy.

Quote

I'm Kevin McDonald, I am 16 and a Junior here at NHS. I would like to tell you all a little bit about myself. I'm currently single, though hopefully not for long. I like to play video games, listen to music, watch movies, hang out with friends, watching television, girls, the Internet, online message boards, science fiction, and just living. My favorite video games are anything by Blizzard Entertainment, SWAT 3, Tribes 2, Unreal Tournament 2004, Hellgate: London, Total Annihilation, and Left 4 Dead. My favorite movies are The Matrix, Casino Royale (2006), Inglourious Basterds, Star Wars (all of them), and Alien (all of them). My favorite TV shows are Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Babylon 5, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica (RDM), Code Lyoko, Total Recall 2070, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: Voyager, MacGyver, The X-Files, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Crusoe, Star Trek: The Original Series, and Farscape. I'll listen to just about any music that I like, I don't really have any favorite genres, and I don't like rap/hip-hop. I own a few websites and forums. My best friends are Matt Beumer, Kaddi Kuhlewind, Brandon Burke, Tabitha Wright, Matt Huffstutler, and Brittany Nicole. I am usually a rather reserved person, I'll pretty much leave you alone if you leave me alone, but don't cross me, or I'll rain an ungodly firestorm upon you. I really feel as though I have discovered who I am this year, which is my Junior year. I do support Barack Obama, although I disagree with him wanting to send us to school longer by shortening our summer vacation, I also don't like or support his proposed health care plan. I currently 'like' a certain girl, who also happens to be one of my closest friends, Tabitha Wright . Well, hate to jump around a little with this but; I was born and raised here in the St. Louis Metropolitan Area (Missouri, United States). I have some pretty high morals, as well as a rather interesting code of ethics (no sex before marriage, no drugs, no tobacco, and no underage drinking). Well that is not all there is to know about me, but it would appear that I have already gone above and beyond the call of duty. I also use just about every online service and instant messenger out there (Yahoo!, SS Free, Microsoft Network, America On-Line, Delphi, Steam, Xfire, etc.). Some goals of mine are to graduate high school, graduate college, get married (but not before having some fun, if you catch my drift), make first contact (with aliens), travel the world, help my uncle (Jonathan McDonald) get his country (Jonathanland) internationally recognized (or atleast by the United States), release Sole Survivor (a video game that me and some friends are trying to make), visit Blizzard Entertainment's headquarters, get a degree in theoretical physics (just to say I have one, and because it could be useful), and create a GEnie account. I have probably one of the strangest collections of all time, I collect these little 'Apartment Guide' books that you can get at for free at some stores, I have like 50 of them (not including duplicates). I have recently obtained the following PC games: Final Fantasy XI Online (Vana'DIel Collection 2008, which includes: Rise of the Zilart, Chains of Promathia, Treasures of Aht Urhgan, Wings of the Goddess, and the original Final Fantasy XI), Left 4 Dead (one of three that I have actually played so far since I got them), Tomb Raider (I'm actually borrowing this from my uncle, Jonathan McDonald), Lego Creator (I'm also borrowing this one from my uncle), Space Siege (another one I played), Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach (I've had this for a while, but I didn't install it until now), Dungeons & Dragons Online: Eberron Unlimited (the third and final one I've played so far), Fighting Steel, Counter-Strike: Source (I've had this for a while, but I didn't install it until now), Half-Life 2: Deathmatch (I've had this for a while, but I didn't install it until now), Day of Defeat: Source (I've had this for a while, but I didn't install it until now), Star Wars Galaxies, and Massive Assault Network 2 (I had this installed, but I uninstalled it). The most amount of comments in a Facebook discussion regarding a friends' status was over 150 (it's still going on even). Did I mention that I am the owner and founder of the SS Free, well I am. I can't believe I just wrote all this down, thank you all for your time.

hi - FFXI Final Fantasy XI Quetzalcoatl Daily News

"kevin1gamer" - Google Search

btw, there is nothing before October on this user name

Attempt to break this down:

Name: Kevin McDonald
Age: 16
Hometown: St. Louis, MO
School: St. Louis University High School - National Honor Society
Friends: Matt Beumer, Kaddi Kuhlewind, Brandon Burke, Tabitha Wright, Matt Huffstutler, and Brittany Nicole
Family: Jonathan McDonald (Uncle)
Likes: video games, listen to music, watch movies, hang out with friends, watching television, girls, the Internet, online message boards, science fiction, and just living
Fav Movies: The Matrix, Casino Royale (2006), Inglourious Basterds, Star Wars (all of them), and Alien (all of them)
Fav TV: Deep Space Nine, Babylon 5, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica (RDM), Code Lyoko, Total Recall 2070, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: Voyager, MacGyver, The X-Files, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Crusoe, Star Trek: The Original Series, and Farscape
Fav Games: anything by Blizzard Entertainment, SWAT 3, Tribes 2, Unreal Tournament 2004, Hellgate: London, Total Annihilation, and Left 4 Dead
Personal Message to the Internet: "I am usually a rather reserved person, I'll pretty much leave you alone if you leave me alone, but don't cross me, or I'll rain an ungodly firestorm upon you."

posted this on BG after searching more on him
http://www.bluegartr...328-post34.html

and Senoska sent this to the girl;

[firefeng]

This thread may answer the nagging question I had about internet depravity affecting the glaze with which people view their own teen years. (As if none of you were an emotional, awkward walking catastrophe when you were in High School...I know I wasn't, I'm too fucking awesome, but you are all as demi-humans before me, and cannot pull the veil over my nonpareil internet-eyes quite so simply as you believe.)

[TresDuendes]

hey fuck you guy just because i tried to kill myself doesnt mean i was an emotional wreck

[firefeng]

I know, right? I keep sayin' that but shrink be all tryin' ta' keep my shit down and shit.

[Seigrith]

^{That reminds me of a time I was talking to a psychologist my mother referred me to when I was in the third grade. I lamented to him about how I didn't really have that many friends, and he said, "Why do you suppose that is?" to which I replied, "HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW, YOU STUPID COCKSUCKER?"}

[Kay]

He seems very, uh, shady. While I have had such things happen to me before, it was never close to this level of extremities.

[firefeng]

Sometimes my extremities feel a bit tingly.

[Kay]

Paraplegia?

[Rhadamantis]

kevin1gamer, on 14 October 2009 - 06:59 PM, said:

Alright, so I thought I fell in "love", however, it is really complicated and I feel as though I have been <s>somewhat of</s> a jerk now. Please, allow me to elaborate. I fell for one of my good friends, however, after a long and drawn out sequence of events, I discovered she didn't like me the same way. Eventually, she found out about the crush I had on her and I've sort of dragged things on a bit. She only wants to be friends now, and now, so do I. I kept telling myself (and her) that, but I never actually truly believed it. Now, I am going to try and completely "bury the hatchet", and try to put it behind us (that's what she wants, and now, that is entirely what I want). I will have no regrets of this, and from this point fourth, actions will speak louder than words (especially half-baked promises that I meant to be true but accidentally slipped up on). I do believe I will require a stronger willpower to go through with this though. The reason being, one of my good friends, Elijah, called me a stalker (because I still had feelings for her after finding out from a mutual friend that she didn't feel the same way about me), does having a crush on someone (and making a couple bad decisions, like coming on too strong, going out of my way to hint that I like her, and various other stupid things that I now regret doing entirely) truly make you a stalker? I am quitting this stupidity now, not only because it's the right thing to do, because it's what she wants, or to salvage our friendship, but rather all three of those things, plus I now see the error of my ways and wish to do so. I would hate for one or both of us to be uncomfortable around each other as friends, just over some stupid teenage crush. So I am putting an end to it, and respecting her wishes (as well as my own) by going back to just being friends. In fact, I believe I may have unconsciously showed my affection a few times (i.e. my Final Fantasy XI character is named after her and commenting on every single one of her Facebook statuses). I also want to show her (as well as myself), that I don't want that sort of vibe, just as she doesn't, or we will always hate (and/or feel uncomfortable around each other) for the rest of our lives, and neither of us want to lose our very close friendship over something so trivial and stupid. Right now I am actually sad, I'm almost never said (only been sad twice in like 3 years; when my cousin died about a week ago and now), I really screwed up bad, and now I just feel terrible, I am almost crying (not that I <s>ussually</s> ever cry) because of what I've done (see above), I feel so sorry for what I've done to Tabitha (made her feel awkward and/or bad/sad around me), I don't even know where to begin to make it up to her (however, I have decided that putting an end to this one-sided romance is the best course of action for my first step). Anyone have any advice, questions, commentary?

PARAGRAPHS kthx

[renzuko]

i was a friggin quiet bugger...that was for some reason unexplicably "popular" i was the butt of a, not mean, but, after a while, kind of annoying joke that people who are still at my high school participate in (i graduated 2 years ago now >.>), the joke being that it's my birthday EVERY FRIGGIN DAY OF THE YEAR except for my actual birthday -.-;;

i think the only really fucked up thing i did, was announce to my english class in grade 9, after watching bowling for columbine, that if it was JUST bullying that made those two fuck head's shoot up the school, id have likely done so a long ass time ago >.>

maybe that's why no one was overtly mean to me ^^ though i did get many a comment that my taste in music was shitty >.>

[firefeng]

renzuko, on 15 October 2009 - 12:28 AM, said:

i was a friggin quiet bugger...that was for some reason unexplicably "popular" i was the butt of a, not mean, but, after a while, kind of annoying joke that people who are still at my high school participate in (i graduated 2 years ago now >.>), the joke being that it's my birthday EVERY FRIGGIN DAY OF THE YEAR except for my actual birthday -.-;;

i think the only really fucked up thing i did, was announce to my english class in grade 9, after watching bowling for columbine, that if it was JUST bullying that made those two fuck head's shoot up the school, id have likely done so a long ass time ago >.>

maybe that's why no one was overtly mean to me ^^ though i did get many a comment that my taste in music was shitty >.>

Lemme guess. A combination of Tool, NIN, and/or Insane Clown Posse?

[Xani]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but had any one of the "regulars" posted a little sob story like that, you guys would be ripping our teeth out through our asses by now.
Man up, 'Feng, you've disappointed me

Anyway, where's Sera at? We need some decent flames in here.

[firefeng]

Sort of like what I'm wont to do whenever a cum-crying bitch-golem – constructed of crusted make-up and the vaginal leavings of a two-bit whore after a night of pleasuring syphilitic truckers – feigns intimacy with my mental processes?

[HavianofShiva]

hmmm....

[firefeng]

Given the number of forums this has been posted in, I'm guessing it's a forced meme, obvious troll attempt, social experiment, or social catastrophe.

Or all of them.