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as you may have guessed from the title of the topic, this concerns the quitting of FFXI. There have been posts made of such a nature before but I would like to tackle it from not just by experience but by a rational healthy way to quit FFXI and MMOs in general. I have placed this topic in Flame Wars as I am aware not everyone will agree, not so much to put hate on you all, but a means to share a somewhat "taboo" topic and alleviate misconceptions.
I shall first begin with my experience:
I first created my character which has undergone much in game improvement, a server jump then a recent migration along with a character name change. The last two being a necessity. Along that several Linkshells and a line of friends have come and gone. I picked up FFXI back in 2004 being a big fan of the final fantasy series and the want to have my first experience at MMOs. Essentially 7 years of paying for this game. Now lets do the math: 7 years, with a total playtime of 314 days rounded up, that's just a little over 12% of those 7 years devoted to FFXI, now thats not an awful amount but certainly far more than regular single player games on a PS3 for instance. I have wasted not only time but money; £10 a month rounded up to the nearest number (I'm UK based). Multiply that 12 months a year = £120, times that by 7 (years), £840. Add probably another £100 or so for the add-ons. On top of that and what I find worst is I bought gil, quite a lot of it too, even recently (I managed to trick the system of not getting myself banned by creating a new character with a different card then simply dual boxed and traded with my main character, bazaaring cheap items priced at random sums of gil with non-rounded numbers such as 762,936 gil etc.) Total I guess I've spent... £2000 give or take a few £100 on buying gil with real money. Amassing approximately £3000 financing FFXI. Now yes when you crunch these numbers of time and money they seem drastic but this was over a long period of time and one can afford that. Could the money gone into something else? Considering that amount is just a small percentage of the total I have accumulated of those 7 years? I say not really, that money I would have spent it on other forms of entertainment, like going out drinking with friends or clubbing or cinemas, dispensable entertainment that we all enjoy, the difference is is those are short-term and physical (real basically). Personally I don't enjoy clubbing or going out drinking with friends daily but of course I enjoy socializing and it is important to us, but I myself quantify it less comparably to others. I'm just making a generalization that people can relate to of activities one can do, others would prefer to read a book at Starbucks or go shopping, these are personal preferences of entertainment but that isn't the issue here. As I have stated over those 7 years that £3000 is not all I made, I've accumulated far more with the jobs I have had. It isn't that drastic, but it is questionable.
The ending of this experience, of playing FFXI, was really a pleasant one although it came about in something we are all familiar with; and to add I shall incorporate my "revelation" for a lack of a better word: I recently got kicked from a linkshell because I insulted one of the Linkshell Officers, I shan't go into the moral and ethical implications of swearing to people. The initial cause of me swearing at the Officer, verbally challenging him, was because I bitched about the difficulty of the Magian Trials (it is bloody arduous let's admit, but so is the rest of the game which is the point I'm about to make). I came to realize that I'm subjecting myself to something I do not enjoy anymore and wasn't playing the game out of indulgence but out of compulsion; what started out to be indulgence has digressed to time wasting, no movement toward actual physical and mental self-fulfillment but instead a gaumless keyboard tapper desperately trying to hang on to the effort I have put into the game to which I placed an irrational value upon.
Now I shall discuss the mentality of ending this charade in a healthy manner:
Just to make perfectly clear again, I am not trying to attack any of you for still playing FFXI or impose that you must stop and "free yourself"; I'm certain that most of you are more than capable of accomplishing that on your own terms. I do not regret having started the game in the first place, I do not blame the game for ruining my life or impeding it in some way; an example would be it distracted me from my studies at university to which I had failed at... in actual fact I just never liked university and the course in the first place, they were not of my true interests (I shan't go into how or why I went to university in the first place) but I will state what my true interests were, are, filmmaking! And I'm pursuing them right now and have done so even when I was still playing FFXI, an example of that was back in 2007 when I applied at the San Francisco School Of Digital Filmmaking. So in hindsight I was never an addict, although I did displace such addictive like behaviours in favour of FFXI on a personal level. It was a fun game with fun times enjoyed with fun players but it has now fully washed away completely now... the only thing that kept me playing was I'd lose all that work I put into and the money I spent, the amazing gear that I got, the lvl75 war drk rng smn, lvl66 blm etc etc etc. - A game without an ending, when really it should be one's life without an ending. Do you see? Although I was aware of my frustration of the game about a year ago and played less and less and only kept vaguely playing it with the rationale in mind that taking a break and returning will re-invigorate the gameplay and that the new updates and lvlcap increase would also play a role in that. Far from it, thankfully it has had the opposite effect.
Will I play FF14? No. From what I heard from a friend who has played the Alpha and Beta testing, claims it is the same bullshit, just repackaged in better graphics. - I will play PS3 still of course, games that only lasts total play time of 20-30 hours, short-term games with an ending. Although I'm repeating the same procedure with other games, at least they are different and new. And online play such as MW2 is the same, you go on to play an hour or two as if you were to play single player games; they are not designed to be a forever after. MMOs with their "forever afters", and here I openly mock the very sought after fairy tale perfect ending, is really an enslavement of pure, unadulterated boredom!
Having played FFXI for so long, as said I do not blame the game itself or myself in fact, I do not feel guilty or regret it. It was just a mistake that I have become aware of over time and learned from it now, something that we can all I dare say, relate to. I think that this is a very healthy way to look at it; it has not destroyed my life and I certainly don't think playing MMOs of any kind would perform such a total destruction on one's life nor do MMOs game makers intend so, they are just selling a product which is demanded. It has simply now become boring. Initially starting the game was not a mistake, I'm a fan of Final Fantasy series and enjoyed FF7 to 10 (lol FF13? - Perhaps SE don't have it in them anymore). However! Carrying on this charade is certainly a mistake once you become aware of it.
The reason's for posting this I have made above, but what do I accomplish on a selfish level towards you all with this post, is this an altruism of some sort? Or a claim to enlightenment... pfft, please, don't even go there. It is none of those. I'm a gamer like all of you, I certainly do not consider myself better than you; I share this with all of you for these reasons: on a selfish level it helps me to vent and "release" myself from it, on a more Darwinism level, an indirect reciprocal altruism if you will, I am concerned for fellow gamers and there well-being, though admittedly it is short-lived. If you take offense to this even after all this, then that is your problem not mine, although I think I have carefully avoided to write this in such a manner to seem offensive or judgmental or to claim a mentality higher than yours. I'm humiliated at myself but I do NOT expect sympathy, I'm not seeking it, but certainly I or any of you should not punish yourself for quitting or to carry on playing if you so choose. It is after all, just a game.
To conclude on a bit of a brutal note but an honest one, something that I have studied and examined, people can struggle at times to let go of something trivial because they think the humility of letting go is far more devastating to the integrity of their well-being. That admitting a mistake is like feeling defeated or ill-fated. On the contrary I say. Why I say that? I'll leave that up for you to work out. As gamers I think we share a common observation, that we can distinguish fantasy from reality. We have all heard from the incessant lies and propaganda (lets call it that for the fun of dramatization) that video-games like MW2 influences children to commit murder, that GTA influences us to steal cars. Pah! How insulting and idiotic!
I shall take my leave now and thank you for taking the time to read this. I may come to check on the responses, maybe not. Even less likely that I will add anything more after this.
Regards
Posted not by a fictitious character with 5/5 god gear but by me; an Englishman living in London.
Some errors in the writing have been changed, I apologise.
This post has been edited by Infected Astrix: 16 August 2010 - 06:54 PM
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